🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?